your head is full of words

Self validation. It's become a detrimental part of my life. Every time I pass by a mirror, or really reflective window, I stop and glance at my self. No, not because I'm the most vain person to have ever lived, but because I need to stop and soundlessly critique myself. In that short second or two, I pick out every flaw. The strands of hair that don't seem to belong on either the right or left side of my hair line. Tired eyes. Whatever.

I know I'm not the only one. Countless times I have heard self destructive statements from my peers. And they're always about appearance. "If you saw me without make up on, you'd run home crying..", "I look so fat today", etc. Why is physical appearance so important to us? One day, the beauty we actually have, or wish to have, will fade. After that, all we're left with is our personalities, memories and knowledge. So why don't we spend countless hours behind books, studying, rather than behind a mirror, plucking our eyebrows, or straightening our hair?

But still, no matter how many times I, or anyone else plagued with self doubt, thinks about the reality of beauty, it still won't sink in. Why? Why can't we accept who we are? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Our flaws are what make us unique. Although I self loathe on a daily basis, I would not choose to have anyone's body, or face, other than my own. But I wouldn't mind having Jessica Alba's abs. Or Jennifer Aniston's arms. Or Maria Sharapova's legs. Oh, there I go again. It's a cycle. Such a vicious cycle..